Overcoming Abandonment Issues

MJ: Let’s say, as an adult, I realize I have abandonment “issues”. What steps would you recommend to overcome these?

Percell: This might be too general, but;

1. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Admit that there is a malaise and seek to deal with it.

2. Understand the grief. Know the difference/s between sadness and depression. Seek a way / ways to help yourself get through it. Do not fall into the “I just want to be left alone” trap.

3. Create a support system. Again, do not sequester yourself from others. I know the feelings of withdrawing, having little energy for others, wanting to stay at home… in bed, etc. Not good.

4. Fault is irrelevant. We waste too much time trying to find fault rather than cure. You blame the doer, then you blame yourself, his childhood / parents, your strengths / weaknesses. Stop it!

5. Practice creating and maintaining Good Sponsoring Thoughts. This is, probably, the most difficult. It is simply too easy to think things such as, “I do not know how to get through this” or “God! How long am I going to feel like this?”; both innocent thoughts, but wrong. Change negative thoughts, pray. It is a time to reinvent your-‘self’ again. Be kind to yourself. Be with persons who love you.

6. Find a counselor / therapist.